Confessions of a Closet Cougar… er Serval.

Alright, I have to confess there’s a cute kid working at the corner market that I’ve been eyeing. By “kid”, I mean he’s probably in his early twenties. Trust me when I say he’s hot, taller than me (bonus!), always smiling, cracking jokes, and gives me suggestions on what to make for dinner practically every time I stop in. You tell me, he’s begging for a pounce, right? I swear it used to be me that got picked up in the produce aisle!

Man, I feel old… never thought I’d become a closet Cougar. But I suppose my qualification can be debated. One reference in Urban Dictionary mentions that Cougars are women ranging from 30-50 that are entering the dating scene “once again” and don’t want to be bothered with the usual dating games. That implies any women over 30 that find they want to sink their teeth into a younger man must be divorced, which I find to be a completely outdated point of view. There are a lot of us that have yet to even attempt to tie ourselves to a partner for eternity. That’s it, I’m reclassifying myself as a Serval.

The Serval is a smaller feline known for its long legs (*ahem*), big ears, and long neck. It goes after smaller prey and has a much higher success rate than most other cats, with no need for the attention-grabbing theatrics of a cougar. Servals also have much more interesting markings. They’re extremely intelligent and demonstrate remarkable problem-solving ability, making them notorious for getting into mischief, as well as easily outwitting their prey and eluding other predators. The Serval will often play with its capture for several minutes before consuming it, but will ferociously defend against attempted theft by others.

Our population is dwindling, however, due to men hunting us for our fur (*ahem*-squared).

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